Snowstorms like this in New York really show how it is true it never sleeps.

Plowing went on all night and even though blizzard conditions continued the next day, the roads were clear. Some people trekked off to work, but they missed the winter wonderland in Central Park! Shown here are amazing photos of the most amazing night sky I’ve ever seen in Manhattan, snowmen – and a snow WOMAN that’s a true work of art – buried cars, people skiing, and more.

It’s amazing when a city offers you activities you normally can’t do – snowball fighting, snowman building, cross-country skiing, and downhill sledding. There’s something very exciting and fascinating when it happens. Everyone seems happy (at least those participating in said activities), families and friends come together, and it has a very special feeling overall. It also shows how much impact weather has on our day-to-day experiences. Especially when you relocate, weather affects whether you can be indoors or out, and temperatures affect what activities are available.

However, New York is notorious for being “the City that Never Sleeps”. The snowstorm made me wonder, why is it New York can’t shut for one day and play in the snow? Happily, we made up for it on Saturday, but it’s a shame we can’t bring everything to a halt and enjoy the snow as it happens.

The story centers around the life of the main character, but in an interesting twist, it is told through the eyes of his dog, Enzo.

What caught my attention in the story is the similarities of Enzo’s story to those of us who have every tried living in another country and been frustrated in our efforts to communiciate.

First, Enzo understands everything going on around him, but lacks the ability to talk back.  When you move to another country, if you don’t speak the language, you may feel a similar frustration, where you understand what everyone is saying, but you just can’t get the words out to reply, or say something, ANYTHING to let those around you know you get it.

Enzo is forced to rely on exaggerated gestures in his inability to speak.  If you’re in another country, and can’t rely on words, you, too will have to rely on another way to communicate, at least initially.  Whether it’s gestures, pointing to a dictionary, silly faces and pantomimes, pointing at things, etc – it may feel a bit degrading as you initially try to get your point across.

Sometimes, Enzo can’t get his point across.  There are moments in the story where tragic things happen and Enzo is unable to make those around him understand that he knows what has happened.  When words and gestures fail you in another country, the result can be aggravation, and even bouts of depression.  It’s enormously frustrating when you need to communicate something important and can’t seem to get your point across.

Enzo harps on humans and their listening skills.  There are many instances in the story where Enzo and his master are able to “speak” without words.  I can think of many examples in my own life when communication happened without words.  Sometimes, even in another country, the ability to listen – really listen – beyond the words, can help you understand a situation.

Frankly, I’ve always been fascinated with how some dogs seem to understand and communicate and they do it without words.  It’s in their gaze, the way they place their paw on you, their bark, their ears…I find it amazing that these companions can be so smart, and be an excellent reflection for anyone feeling the frustration of learning a new language.

As many of you may know, I feel it’s imperative that you make every effort to learn a new language if you’re moving to a new country.  However, let Enzo teach you a few good lessons while you’re at it:

1. Communication can happen without words
2. Gestures can sometimes be as effective as the words you are unable to say
3. You may feel silly while using gestures in place of words, but if you get your point across, isn’t that the most important?
4. Being able to really listen to someone – deeply, even beyond words – can sometimes have immeasurable value.  And, if you don’t speak the language, you’ll be able to really tune in to all the other ways of listening!

* Want more ideas and resources to learn a new language?  Check out the Personal Success Method *

In this video I tell (and show!) you the impact of new physical surroundings.

The lesson was about our perception and how it impacts whether we are happy, or whether we tend towards suffering and unhappiness.  When you move to a new place, after the “honeymoon” phase wears off, it’s easy to get stuck in feelings like,

“I can’t meet anyone here that I like.”
“I don’t fit in here.”
“The bureaucracy I have to go through every day is overwhelming.”
“The food here is weird.”

and on and on.  The point being that your mind decides to see everything as “bad”, “different”, and “overwhelming”, and you then use these as justification to feel sad, unhappy, homesick, etc.  In fact, people are just people.  In another culture, they will naturally behave differently than they do wherever you are from.  This does not make anyone bad, and it doesn’t make you not fit in.  Your choice to see yourself as not fitting in, is what actually makes you stick out!

I think Buddhism is a lot like coaching in this area.  The concept here is that we each bear the responsibility, and the power, to create the life we want for ourselves.  When challenges arise, we have the power to either see them as overwhelming and let them take over our life, or to figure out what opportunity or lesson they present.

Now, I’m sure some of you are saying, “Heather, I think you smoked too much of something…” and others may be saying, “Girl, you’re full of it!  There’s no opportunity for me in language issues holding me back from making friends, and being able to get help finding toilet paper at the supermarket!  And, my boss being a jerk is not an opportunity, he’s got no right to treat me like that!”

OK, I’m with you, because I actually raised similar questions myself!  Let me give you an example.  A couple of weeks ago, I was on the subway in Manhattan.  I was sitting down, and there was a small space between me and the person to my right.  A woman eventually decided to sit there, only it turned out the space was not as large as she was.  The result?  SHE SAT ON MY LEG!  I couldn’t believe it.  I said “OUCH!” and it had no impact. 

I sat there, and I thought, “Who does this lady think she is?  My leg is not a seat!  She is sooooo rude, I can’t believe how unobservant she is!  What gives her the right to treat me like this?!! I was here first, she should get up if the seat isn’t big enough, this isn’t fair!”  OK, there were perhaps some profanities in there, too, but you get the basic point. 

When I got off at my stop, I literally had to hold on to a pole to PRY myself out of the seat, and when I got up there was a noise, kind of like a suction cup makes, and the woman actually fell down onto the empty space I had created.  I was really annoyed, and in that moment, there was no way in hell I was seeing an opportunity and the only lesson I was wishing for was a good right hook!

But, when I thought about this lesson on perception and opportunity, I began to see this subway situation differently.  First, though I perceived the woman as rude and obnoxious, I had the choice to get up and move, which I did not do.  I also had the choice to tap her on the arm and ask her to please get off my leg, which I did not do.  And, while I perceived this as “something that was done to me intentionally”, it’s possible she didn’t even notice she was sitting on my leg, not until I got up.  [I remembered looking back at her and noticing she seemed genuinely surprised and shocked when she dropped onto the seat, to realize she had been sitting on me.]

Now, for me, I also realized there was a lesson about pain.  My leg was in dire pain for hours afterwards.  I had literally ”sat with the pain”, and realized this situation had been an opportunity for me to choose another way to address the situation which would have resulted in me NOT feeling pain.  Of course, I didn’t realize this lesson at the time I could have done something about it, but the important thing is that I figured out the lesson, which will help me apply it the next time I get the same lesson.  (Anyone else out there find you get the same lessons tossed at you over and over until you learn them?)

Another subway example I can give you is when a woman sat beside me, and though she had plenty of space, let her bag was fall on me, and her coat linger on my lap. It just seemed like she couldn’t keep her belongings to herself.  I was getting really annoyed at the infringement of my space.  Just as my anger was rising to the point I would have said something, I looked over at the woman.  Behind her sunglasses, I saw tears.  I realized that this woman wasn’t ignorant, or rude; she was upset, and doing everything she could to keep her composure.  That evoked compassion in me, and understanding.  I no longer cared about her bag or coat being in my lap.  I simply respected her efforts to keep together.

When you live in another culture, there will be many, many times when you’ll perceive something as mean, bad, etc. but realize later was just a cultural or value difference.  I think the whole act of moving to another culture is an inevitable experience of opportunities to be challenged, grow, and change.  Simply try to remember that every challenge presented to you allows you the opportunity to perceive it any way you want; an unfair hurdle, an obstacle you use to get upset and return home as quickly as possible, or something that you use to discover a new part of yourself that helps you grow as a person.

** Want to know more about Buddhism?  Check out www.kadampa.org **

You’ll be uprooting more than just your belongings. You’ll have to leave good friends and maybe family behind. If you’re well established in your career, then you’ll be starting all over in a new office which can feel a bit like the transition from a senior in high school to a freshman in college!

If you’re moving with your family, then there will be differing priorities and expectations to reconcile, and possibly investigations into education systems and whether a potentially unemployed spouse will be happy in a new role.

Unfortunately, there can be so many competing feelings, opinions, and expectations that a decision becomes impossible. You can easily get paralyzed by advice from your friends and family, the uncertainty of the impact to your career, and the inability to know how things will turn out after you move.

So, let’s look at a few ways to help you make this tough decision:

** Try out the Relocation Decision Kit to help you with the right questions to make this tough decision **

This morning, walking along the snow/ice covered streets in New York, I happened upon a woman who wanted a cab, but was terrified to step onto the curb due to black ice which could cause her to slip and fall.  So, she asked if I would help her.  I held out my arm, and we slowly approached the curb.  I waited with her but no taxis showed up.

Happily, there was a hotel 2 blocks away.  Taxis normally congregate in front of them, so I walked this woman over to the hotel, holding my arm.  Her name was Welly (short for her last name) and she was a lovely woman.  Though I did have to get to my office, I felt there was, in that moment, nothing more important than helping this lovely person to a cab.  I had the choice to help her, or not, and then to stay with her until her need was fulfilled, or leave her in the middle.  By choosing both to help her, and to make sure she got safely to a cab, I felt I had served a useful purpose, which also made my day much better!

I did feel it was a bit “being in the right place at the right time”, but I’m sure I’ve been in a hurry, and walked right by a great opportunity like this before.  So, if you’re wondering how to add more meaning to your life, just open your eyes to someone right next to you, that might need your help, and offer your arm.

For US Expats around the globe, thought you might appreciate some tips as you prepare your return. Here’s a list of 13 common mistakes to avoid – recommended by Nick Hodges, CPA/PFS, MBA, CFP at Expat CFO:

1. Foreign earned income exclusion. Many expats believe that because their foreign earned income is below the exclusion limit they do not need to file a return. The exclusion can only be taken by filing a return and completing Form 2555. If this is not done timely, the expat will NOT be able to use the exclusion.

2. Foreign bank accounts. An Expat opens a foreign bank account and does not file treasury form TD.90-22.1. Any US citizen with a financial interest in or who can sign on a foreign bank account with a value of more than $10,000 must file this form.

3. Foreign tax credit. Expats may also be entitled to a foreign tax credit by filing Form 1116. However, a foreign tax credit may not be taken on foreign earned income excluded from tax. If not all earnings are excluded from foreign tax, a calculation can be made to take a credit on your US tax return for taxes paid on non excluded foreign income.

4. Inexperienced local tax professional. The expat lets his local tax professional continue to prepare his tax return. Many expats work statewide with their local tax professional for many, many years before going abroad. These relationships usually have a long history of trust and competency. Once you’ve found someone you trust to understand your unique financial situation, it is difficult to switch. However, properly completing an expat return is simply uncharted territory for most local tax professionals. You do both yourself and them a disservice by forcing them to make this stretch into such a complicated arena. As you operate at a new tax and financial level, you are simply going to need a greater scope of service than is typically provided by a local firm.

5. Dependency on the IRS The expat relies exclusively on the IRS for help. While the IRS provides Publication 54 to explain Form 2555 and Form 2555EZ, it does not provide all the tax situations an expat is likely to experience and neither does it instruct on the proper application of the tax code for unusual situations that the expat typically finds themselves.

6. Do it yourself. The expat prepares his own return. Most expats are extremely intelligent. Because they are so smart, some believe that they can figure out their own tax return. It is important to realize that the tax laws are always changing. Without being constantly connected to the professional aspect of the tax world, it is just too easy to put your trust in outdated information.

7. State tax obligations. There are a few states that do not comply with the U.S. foreign income tax exclusion. The expat should make sure he/she does not owe state income tax on his foreign earned income. Failure to understand your state’s perspective of the foreign income tax exclusion can substantially affect your tax picture.

8. Inability to locate tax documents. Expats do not keep important tax documents in a central location organized in a way to be used to fight the IRS if they are audited. What do you do with your critical documents while you are away? Expats need to have a secure, online document storage capacity that can be accessed from anywhere in the world. Your information should be organized by year and contain key source documentation, your completed return and any correspondence with the IRS. In addition, you should have a series of permanent files that document your service abroad and other elements of their financial world.

9. Dependency exemptions. Expats do not always take all the exemptions to which they are entitled. Expats may have dependents that do not have social security numbers and incorrectly believe that without a social security number, they cannot take a dependency exemption.

10. Hidden overseas accounts. Hiding money overseas to escape paying tax on the earnings is not a valid tax option — it is fraud! Remember, fraud has no statute of limitations. Penalties and interest can build to twice as much as the original tax. If the IRS wants to make a point, there can be jail time.

11. Foreign housing exclusion. Remember, you cannot take both the foreign housing exclusion and the foreign tax credit. So which one should you take? The eligible housing cost amount is the individual’s total housing expenses for the year (limited to 30 percent of the maximum foreign earned income exclusion amount), less the base housing amount (16% of the maximum foreign earned income exclusion amount). The excluded amount cannot exceed either the individual’s foreign earned income for the tax year or their actual housing expenses. The deducted amount also cannot exceed the individual’s actual housing expenses, nor can it exceed the individual’s foreign earned income for the tax year reduced by both the individual’s excluded foreign earned income and the excluded housing amount. Whereas, the foreign tax credit generally can be taken dollar for dollar of foreign taxes paid.

12. Form 1040NR. US Citizens do not file Form 1040NR. This form is for nonresident aliens. Nonresident aliens are aliens who do not meet either the IRS’s green card test (i.e. a lawful permanent resident) or the substantial presence test. These tests are discussed further in IRS Publication 519.

13. No big financial picture. The expat believes that he needs help only with his tax return. Perhaps the biggest mistake that expats make is going it alone. It’s important to have a guide when you are in uncharted territory. There is so more to managing your financial world than just preparing an accurate and correct tax return. You also need to manage your expat experience.

Learn more about Nick and Expat CFO, and download a free report at www.expatcfo.com !

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